


Yuanfen

by queerwatson



Series: The Lexical Gaps of the English Language [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-18
Updated: 2012-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-31 09:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerwatson/pseuds/queerwatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a while - John’s not bothering to keep track of time anymore - before Molly stops by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yuanfen

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so. Here's a little bit of Molly, and John still dealing with Reichenbach. No spoilers, really, though there's some hints at theories - though they're not important if you haven't seen the episode. Enjoy!

It’s a while - John’s not bothering to keep track of time anymore - before Molly stops by. She hugs him when she comes in, and she’s brought him some kind of food she insisted on making that she also carries up the stairs because his damn limp is back.

He thanks her as she puts it in the kitchen and offers her a seat and some tea. When they’re all settled in, she turns her big, sad eyes on him, and he sighs, bracing himself for what’s to come.

“John, I’m so -”

“Look, Molly, don’t - don’t say you’re sorry for my loss or anything. It’s not alright, but I’m - you know, he wasn’t mine to lose, not really.”

Molly tilts her head. “I’m not - I’m just sorry. Sorry about everything.”

Everything? He shakes his head. “Well, it’s not as though you could’ve done anything.”

She smiles a little and gives one of her humorless, nervous chuckles. “Of course not. I just... I know Sherlock meant a lot to you. And if you want to talk to someone - well, I’m always here. That’s all.”

He smiles. He’s getting more convincing, with practice. “Well, Greg and Mrs. Hudson have been pretty good. I mean, I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all!” She fidgets a little. “I know, though, I mean. Mrs. Hudson probably won’t leave you alone, and Greg probably is better at... Well, you two got along before and everything. You’d rather talk to someone who isn’t me.”

“Molly, no, I just... I’d rather not talk about it at all, actually. Greg and I... go to the pub, talk about other things. I’d rather just... not even think about it, if I can.”

She softens a little. “Well, thank you, Dr. Watson-”

“Call me John, please, I get enough of that going in to the surgery.”

“So you’re still working?”

He feels his brow furrow in confusion. “Of course I am. I’ve got to pay the rent somehow.”

She smiles at him, and it looks genuine, like she’s happy for him. There’s no pity in it, and that’s an expression he’s not used to, at least not lately. “That’s great, John. That’s good. I - um. I wasn’t sure if you’d want any sort of... Advice from me. I’m not so great at relationships, or really, living people at all. But... my mum told me something when my first friend sort of... Decided she had never liked me at all, back in primary school. There’s this sort of Chinese proverb - have fate without destiny. It can refer to a romantic couple - but it can mean friends, too. As much as my mum hated that girl after she said she’d never wanted to be my friend at all - I mean, she sort of helped me when I had no friends. So, she told me that we’d sort of been fated to be friends - but in Chinese culture fate and destiny are two different things. Fate sort of brings you together - it’s destiny that keeps you together. Sometimes you only get one of the two - sometimes you get both. Just... you know, don’t give up.”

Though Molly gives the explanation in her usual awkward, rambling manner, John smiles at her - and he thinks this one isn’t fake. “That - really is a nice sentiment. Thank you, Molly.”

She smiles back. “Of course, John. I’m glad to help. I - I’ve got to get back to the morgue. But, really, if you ever want to talk, feel free to stop by - or Greg probably has my cell number if you’d rather not go back to the hospital, which I completely understand.”

He knows that she adjusted her sentence when he winced at the idea of going back to the hospital, and he appreciates it. “Right, well, I’ll do that. I can walk you back to the door...”

“No, no, it’s fine. Wouldn’t want to have to bother you with the stairs again.” She stands, brushes herself off a little and takes her leave, waving at him on her way out of the door. It was quick, and a bit odd, but John finds that Molly’s visit has certainly left him feeling a bit lighter, if nothing else. He limps over to get his laptop and decides to look into this difference between fate and destiny.

He finds a word, then - Yuanfen. It refers, apparently, to the force that brings a relationship of whatever sort together - whether it’s fate or it’s destiny. The article on Wikipedia says that the proverb is sometimes used as a break-up line - and whether it’s true or not, it makes him chuckle. He’s never been sure how he feels about fate - but the idea that the greatest man he ever man came into his life by chance seems silly to him. He and Sherlock had fate on their side - how else could they have kept themselves alive as long as they did? Apparently destiny just wasn’t for them. He thinks of Sherlock scoffing at the whole idea, and he smiles again.

It seems like a shift - he still feels hollow, and to be frank, he doesn’t think that the feeling of missing some part of himself will ever go away - but he feels like he might be able to think of the good times with Sherlock now, and smile. He thinks that there’s a chance he can accept that destiny is a right bastard, and try to keep going - even if it still takes some time.

He finds himself, distantly, thanking Molly Hooper.

**Author's Note:**

> Right. Okay. Another warning, just because it's something I'd like to be warned about - there's some John/Mary in the next part and the one after - there will be some comparisons to John's relationship with Sherlock, and a little bit of Sherlock involvement, but if you don't want any of it, you can always come back at part 7.


End file.
